That fear is........REGRET! To actively know in my mind that I had the capability to achieve certain things, and just didn't try, didn't even give myself the chance, didn't give myself the benefit of the doubt.
In my eyes there is no worse reality than this....An old man on his last years/moments, who can only live with the heavy burden of carrying his life's regret to his grave.
The moment I transitioned my life from auto-pilot to one of active participation, everything changed. I could no longer look at the world in a way others had wanted. I had realized that I could seek my own truth, my own path, I had strayed off the beating path.
I looked at those around me differently. In the beginning in a judgmental fashion. At first I could not realize how people could just choose to let others dictate their existence.
However coming from this very same existence I was in no position to judge from the other side.
I no longer believe in judging others. It's a waste of time!
I realize now that we all have our own path in this life. My path is not yours, and your path is not mine. I can only respect others, even if I don't agree with them.
My life going forward will be a lot different. I am on my path now, I have purpose, I have found myself in this world. When I reach the end of my life I will be happy, why? I will be happy to know I tried, to know I fulfilled what I wanted, and dedicated myself to this cause that only I can understand fully.
I speak now to the old man I will be....
"Old man there is no regret here, leave content yours was a life worth living! "