This very negative outlook clouded my judgment and forced me towards a rough patch. I fell prey to anger, I lacked a support system and internalized and assessed everything for myself. This choice was definitely not the wisest, but in retrospect it taught me plenty.
See out of these dark days blossomed a lonely seed of light. A light of positivity, a light of passion, a light that forged me in the path of new beginnings. As time passed I realized that being angry and holding grudges led no where.
I took time to reflect, to be with myself
Since I didn't trust those around me with my feelings I sought them out in places and in people I believed could serve me best. In this self exodus I began to come across quality content here on the internet. Blogs like Steph Zamora, Puttylike , The Unlost, FurtherBound, Man vs Debt, and Chris Guillebeau, these inspiring people began to speak to my soul. They touched on subjects that were dear to me and really helped out with some emotions I didn't quite know how to handle. I began to get past my anger and move into another place, a place of self awareness.
On the other side
You know it's funny how things turn out. Although I couldn't comprehend what I was looking for, it found me at the time I most needed it.
During this time I booked a trip to London for myself. I had never been and knew no one in the city. Through couchsurfing I met with some amazing people and had a life changing experience. See what this trip showed me was the light on the other side. I was realigned with what could be, instead of the outside influences telling me what life had to be.
My self exodus (as I put it) lasted about a year and a half. I dug deep into myself and began to search for the things that bring me alive, for the things I aspire to do, for the things I care to keep in my life, nothing more.
I found a self abundance, a different perspective.
To be alone may not be desirable. But to be alone can be extremely helpful when in a time of crisis. Take some time to just be you. Don't worry about what others think serve you best.
Maybe just maybe the circumstances that brought you to this lonely state, were signs to forge you in a new direction.....A better direction.
“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” - Kim Culbertson